Parenting After You Messed Up
You said it wrong.
Disciplined wrong.
Acted the wrong way.
Parents, we mess up.
And sometimes our kids know it. Sometimes it effects them. Sometimes we are stuck in a moment of realizing we messed up.
Handled it wrong. Made a wrong decision… something just didn’t go right.
And you know it.
Sometimes we don’t know. Not until way after the fact.
Sometimes we look back over the years and we realize, wow… totally could have done that differently.
It might be years past.
It might have been just yesterday.
But, parents, we can pick up the pieces and continue on our parenting journey… even after messing up.
You know why?
Because our kids get it.
They mess up too.
They have felt the feeling of messing up big time. They know what it is like to say it wrong, handle it wrong, do it wrong… kids get it.
You want to know another reason why we can keep parenting after messing up?
Because God says we can. God is full of second chances and mercy for our situation. He is completely prepared to guide us and help us with the aftermath of our mistakes.
I’ve thought about this a lot recently with the explosion of parenting materials, blog posts, pinterest posts… all giving us great how-tos. But sometimes all those great how-tos can highlight all the ways we might have done it wrong or said it wrong or handled it wrong. And we need to take a step back and realize that parents mess up. And that’s okay. We can pick up the pieces and keep going.
We can still be fantastic, God-led, amazing, wonderful parents even when we mess up.
Parenting is a job that God created you specifically to do in your family.
Parenting is a job that you can do and do well. even when you mess up.
In all honesty, it is GOOD for your kids to see you mess up!
They need to see how you handle it and how you move forward. That teaches them a whole host of great things about real life. Things they are supposed to learn at home with you so that they can move forward in their families with health one day.
So, how can you parent after messing up?
1. Pray – Ask God to give you direct wisdom on how to handle the situation. No matter how big or how small. Pray for guidance.
2. TMI – Don’t give too much information if what you did is beyond their understanding. Keep information bite size for their age.
3. Be honest – Kids can see through us so well. Be honest when you’ve messed up. And, yes, you can still be honest without giving too much information.
4. Ask for forgiveness – Say sorry. Ask for forgiveness. Set an example of how to foster reconciliation after messing up.
5. Hugs – Families need hugs. Kids need physical closer when they have been wronged or they feel like something is unsettling at home. Family dog pile, Family hugs, Family movie and snuggle time… all of this is a great way to reconnect after a serious moment.
Then, move forward.
With grace for your family and grace for yourself.
How do you handle messing up? Big or small, what are some ways you parent after messing up or making a mistake?
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